The Twilight Zone - Kick the Can Video by oɔɹɐɯ - MySpace Video

The Twilight Zone - Kick the Can Video by oɔɹɐɯ - MySpace Video

Great advice to help you stay young, feel more energy, and play more often.

Those Scary New Year's Resolutions!

We've all heard of the yearly tradition of making a New Year's Resolution. There are so many things we should be doing, places we should be going, and habits we need to quit. Whether it's the common resolve of losing weight, quitting smoking, helping or volunteering for the needy, or going back to school, we all have great ideas about where we should be.

So, where should you be? What should you be doing? Your greatest longing or guilt driven goal tells you a lot about yourself. However, recent studies have shown that the act of making a New Year's Resolution can actually be counterproductive to your health. Even though you are vowing to change one or more things about yourself over the next year, the act of holding an unrealistic or realistic expectation could cause a backlash.

BBC (2009) has reported, "...resolutions which focus on issues such as the need to lose weight or job worries create a negative self-image. And if the plans fail to materialize, that could trigger feelings of failure and inadequacy, the charity said. Mind chief executive Paul Farmer said focusing on problems or insecurities can lead to feelings of hopelessness, low self-esteem and even mild depression. We chastise ourselves for our perceived shortcomings and set unrealistic goals to change our behavior, so it's not surprising that when we fail to keep resolutions, we end up feeling worse than when we started."

What is the difference between a RESOLUTION and a GOAL?

1. A resolution focuses on a set standard over your life (as seen taking part on New Year's Day). Resolutions are a promise to one's self for self-improvement. Generally, resolutions are only one dimensional consisting of a simple end result resolution. An accountability partner can be essential in the resolution process, however motivation can decrease for both involved unless you set a goal. Which leads us to....

2. A goal is more centered on realistic steps towards a positive direction (whether it be finding a job, losing weight, becoming more compassionate). Goals focus more on baby steps, and analyzing possible obstacles. Don't forget to grab an accountability partner! If you slip up on your journey, your accountability partner can help whip you back into shape and provide encouragement.

BBC suggests "...instead of making a New Year's resolution, think positively about the year to come and what you can achieve." Instead of easily broken resolutions in 2010, BBC suggests:

• Being active - exercise releases endorphins and even a gentle stroll is beneficial for mental well-being.
• Going green - evidence has shown that connecting with nature can boost moods.
• Learn something new - it will keep minds stimulated and give confidence.
• Give back to the community - it can be just as rewarding for you as those you choose to help."

Ultimately, I would suggest that making a resolution or a goal should only happen when you are good and ready to start the process instead of when everyone else tells you to. If you are involved in a dangerous habit or an unhealthy situation, perhaps the advice of others will help motivate and encourage you to change your ways. Let the New Year's be a tradition of renewal, processing, and hope for the future. You are never stuck!

Source:

British Broadcasting Company. (2009). Resolutions Are Bad For Your Health. Retrieved online December 28, 2009 from http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/7806776.stm.

"Being happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect. It means you've decided to look beyond the imperfections." -Unknown

Movie Montage

We've all seen movies depicting a 'movie montage.' The films typically express the underdog training for a fight or race, drinking healthy drinks, working out, hitting a boxing pad, and of course excessive sweating. The montage is never complete without the music: cliche 80's hits like Eye of the Tiger, a husky male voice (such as Kenny Loggins), and a female background singer who's job is solely based on repeating the anthem. The whole concept of a movie montage is to convey that a time has passed, work has been done, and the hero is now ready for the 'big fight.' He's prepared, fit, appreciative of his trainer, and of course- still sweaty.

Some of the epic movie montages include:
8. 'Teen Wolf'- Win in the End
7. 'Naked Gun'- I'm Into Something Good
6. 'Dirty Dancing'- Hungry Eyes
5. 'Revenge of the Nerds'- One Foot in front of the Other
4. 'The Karate Kid'- You're The Best
3. 'Ghostbusters'
2. 'Scarface'- Push it to the Limit
1. 'Rocky IV'- The Training Montage

And of course the best movie montage, in my opinion, is Team America-World Police "Montage"; a self-conscious take on movie montage's concentrating on cliche build-up. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FIi0vFyqWAc

So, you say, "Why movie montage's?" In person, I'd respond: "Why NOT movie montages?!" But since the blog needs a point consider the following:

1. If someone was to make a movie montage of the 'training' time in your life, what would the theme song be?
2. In your montage are you training for the big fight, just getting in shape, or feel like you're on your own (no trainer)?
3. Who would your trainer be (a friend, relative, co-worker, pet, God, a book, a concept)?
4. What did you train for specifically (career path, death of a friend/family member, school, sprititual battle)?

As cliche as movie montage's are, the whole concept is to convey that time has passed considerably in such a short section of film. If you're in the middle of yours, don't give up. There is always a hindsight perspective. If you've only just begun, get a great trainer and some kick butt music and truck on through.

Finding Your Strengths!

In order to key in on how YOU can function best as a person, I challenge you to identify your strengths! You probably have a pretty good idea at some of the things that inspire you, come easy to you, and challenge you. Putting those thoughts into specific characteristics can help you see a bigger picture as to how your specific talents can fit into other areas of life.

First, think about what you're good at, what inspires you, what comes easy to you, and several characteristics that others admire about you. List your Top 4 (for example: critical thinking, hope for the future, enthusiasm, including others, task focused/OR relationship focused etc.).

Second, go to http://www.viasurvey.org/ and briefly register (FREE) to take the VIA-SURVEY FOR CHARACTER STRENGTHS. I highly recommend this questionnaire and use it in my own personal coaching sessions. It takes about 35 minutes to take the 240 question survey. When completed, it measures you on 24 different strength levels. Note your top 4 and bottom 4.

Third, take your TOP 4 STRENGTHS and think about new ways to use them. For example: if your strength is creativity, set aside specific hours to simply increase your creativity levels (by writing, reading, making). If your strength is appreciation of beauty/nature, find better ways to incorporate this into your life (take a scenic route home, take a walk after dinner, set aside time for some fresh air). Ultimately, strive to push the envelope with your strengths in order to start growing them.

Finally, when you are doing something you love, enjoy, and are good at- your body and mind will respond! You're "pleasure center" (septum pellicidium & hypothalamus) in the brain will excrete domaine into the body creating a satisfied feeling. Dopamine directly effects mood, sleep, cognition, voluntary movement, motivation, a sense of reward, attention and learning. Ultimately, the more you grow and pay attention to YOUR STRENGTHS, your body responds positively.

Additionally, I recommend the Keirsey Personality Test (www.keirsey.com). Shorter versions of the test can be found by searching Myers Briggs (aka Keirsey).

Find what you're good at and GROW it!

Perfecting Ourselves To Death

Perfectionism is an avoided and yet prided word with connotations of straightening pencils and perfect clothes. Some perfectionists can be seen as simply hardworking and motivated; others let it affect their attitudes, health, and ultimately their relationships.

So, what type of perfectionist are you? I'm not talking about taking a self-quiz and getting a silly result that is so general and broad as a fortune cookie. Perfectionism can be split into several categories. Most of us with this trait can be dominant in one category while mixed slightly into others.

I recently attended a conference and heard the author, Richard Winter, speak about his book Perfecting Yourself to Death: The Pursuit of Excellence and the Perils of Perfectionism. Not only was his information a new and innovative in the area of the healthy vs. unhealthy perfectionist, but his English accent was swimmingly surprising. So, below I'll let you in on a few of his secrets (laid out in his book, but also in the notes of his lecture):

Types of Perfectionism:

• Appearance


• Performance/Academic


• Moral


• All round (all encompassing)


• Perfectionists think in ALL or NOTHING terms!

Unhealthy Perfectionists:

• Have standards that are high beyond reach or reason


• Strain compulsively and unremittingly toward impossible goals


• Feel their best efforts are never good enough


• Unable to feel satisfaction or joy in a job well done


• Measure their own worth entirely in terms of productiv ity and accomplishment


• Preoccupied with performance and/or appearance

Normal/Healthy Perfectionists (Person of Excellence):

• Pursue excellence


• Derive a very real sense of pleasure from the labors of a painstaking effort to meet high standards


• Feel free to be less precise as the situations permits


• Rejoice in their skills


• Appreciate a job well done

The 3 Dimensions of Perfectionists- Which One Are You?

• Self-Oriented: demand yourself to be better (high standards for yourself only); under stress you break down to unhealthy perfectionism and tend toward neutrotism. This type of dimension tends to be only related to your person only, no one else (your little bubble and your standards only).


• Socially Prescribed: perceived expectations of others very high; self-worth is contingent on others approval. Social situations depend on your thoughts of "Am I saying the right thing?" "Do I live up to their standards?"


• Others-Oriented: "Why can't everyone else do things the way I do things?" Very morally conscious; tends to set high standards for everyone else. Can be bossy, leadership qualities are high but when under stress can lead to unhealthy ranges.

Thought Patterns of Perfectionists:

• All or nothing


• Need for control


• Tyranny of "outs and "shoulds"


• Trying to live outside reality


• Perception of consistency failing to meet high standards set by self or others


• Shame, social comparison, inferiority


• Fear of making mistakes


• Fear of failure and rejection


• Discrepancy between perceieved and ideal self

Some Perils of Perfectionism:

• Anxiety & worry


• Indecisiveness and procrastination


• Decreased productivity and performance


• Impaired health (headaches, psychosomatic issues)


• Eating disorders


• Depression and suicidal ideas


• Relationship problems (Other-Oriented: critical and leaves broken hearts; Self-Oriented: afraid of opening up because of rejection)


• Obsessive comulsive Personality and OCD- desired sense of control.

OCD Vs. Perfectionism

• Perfectionism is one side of the spectrum dealing with control and anxiety- usually within a mindset that can be triggered and activated. Easy to change within most settings through therapy and therapuetic settings (talk therapy with friends or even relaxation).


• OCD is the other more extreme side of the spectrum dealing with higher control and anxiety- very similiar yet more ingrained in the brain dealing with personality and psychological issues. Hard to change without intense therapy, medication and cognitive behavioral help.

The Roots of Perfectionism

• Genes (can be found in family generations)


• Culture (Military, Asian cultures, Medical field, Media)


• Family (parental grace vs. shame, expectations, Freud/anal fixations)


• School


• Church


• Fear of failure, rejection or loss of control


• Pride


• Shame

Practical Strategies for Health: Learning to Live with Imperfection

• Evaluate Pros/cons


• recognize all or nothing patterns (keep a journal of thoughts/feelings)


• Move from idealism to reality


• Resist the Devil (arm yourself with truth)


• Accept day by day, little by littlework on small goals

Winter, Richard. (2009). Perfecting Ourselves To Death: The Pursuit of Excellence and The Perils of Perfectionism. As heard at the AACC World Conference 9/19/2009.

If You DON'T Snooze, You LOSE!!!

At the World Conference of Christian Counselors, I went to a lecture with the above appropriated title. Having insomnia since early infancy, I was a little sceptical about the information to be presented. I have tried just about every option in the insomniacs personal stash: a new high tech mattress, velvet blankets, pillows, noise machines, fans, awesome pjs, warm milk, sleep drugs in every category known to man, tea, baths, meditation, prayer..you name it- it's right here. In addition to trying everything, I have also paid for psychiatrists (with much success I might add), talk therapy, muscle testing, holistic medicine... the works. You get the idea.

So here it was, 8:45am. I was loaded with coffee walking into a lecture on sleep. Dr. Lyles was blessed with a humerous outlook that helped all of us stay focused on not falling asleep! Here are some of the most profound facts:

If you sleep under 4 hours a night here is what happens to your body:

• Decrease in: mood, cognition, vigilence/reflexes, pain tolerence, immune function, glucose metabolism, pulmonary functions, growth/thyroid/prolactin/leptin hormones, seizure threshold


• Increase in: blood pressure, inflammatory ctokines, eveing cortisol, caloric intake after one night of deprivation.


• Every night you sleep under 4 hours a night.....IT TAKES 3 DAYS TO RECOVER!!!!!!

Psychiatric Disorders & Sleep

• Anxiety: Initial( can't fall asleep)/middle (wake up in the middle of the night) insomnia (50% GAD patients). Bedtime Worry/Tension


• Mania: Decreased need for sleep and decreasded total sleep time. Insomnia is predictive of relapse into mania.


• PTSD: Nightmares, Increase REM density, inability to maintain sleep.


• Panic Disorder: nocturnal panic attacks.

Depression & Sleep

• 20% of insomniacs have depression


• Sleep disturbance and fatigue are predictive of future depression


• Increased rates of relapse in remitted depressed patients with continuing sleep disturbance


• Initual (can't fall sleep), middle (wake up in the middle of the night) or terminal insomina


• Atypical depression goes into hypersmonia


• Single night sleep deprivation may temporarily decrease depression (a nap reverses it).

Fibromyalgia

• Diffuse musculoskeletal pain, chronic fatigue, non-restorative sleep and tender points in the muscles


• Unique presensce of Alpha waves during NREM sleep, esp. stages 3 & 4


• Highly associated with depression


• Treatment of sleep disorder is a core priority

Sleep Hygiene to Enhance Nighttime Sleep

• Avoid naps during the day


• Regular bedtime and rise times


• Avoid non-sleeping time in bed


• Avoid alcohol, nicotine, or caffiene


• Minimize exercise near bedtime


• Maximize bed comfort and room temperature


• Elimiate light and noise


• Get out of bed if unable to initiate sleep and try again later


• Avoid mental work near bedtime

Sleep: If You Don't Snooze: You Lose- Michael Lyles, M.D. Notes, Powerpoint. As seen from AACC World Conference, 2009.

Flat Brained Alligators

Flat Brain Syndrome
Peterson hit in me in the head when I read his book about listening better. In Chapter 4 he mentioned 'flat brain syndrome.’ This is where your system goes nuts with trying to interpret mixed emotions during times of stress. He states that our stomachs overload on past pain and send ‘stomach pangs’ as messages to our hearts. What really hit me was his section on our hearts turning into bricks. “ Any ability we had to use heart talk, to share and be open with each other morphs into put-downs, absolute statements, and resistance” (Petersen, 2007, p. 25). I usually have a lot on my mind and am not the type of person to openly share too much. When something is really bothering me, I tend to clam up and become a little cold towards others. I’ve done and said some irritating things when my heart turns into a brick, but it is usually because of the internal dialogue that is happening. What should I do about this? I should open up to the right people in order to not ‘stuff emotions’ which results in a ‘brick heart.’ Internal emotions are better out than a spontaneous blow out. Recognize your signs of stuffing.

Alligators
Peterson talked about how the ‘alligators’ nip at our heals when we’re in a stressful situation. In normal times, we could converse in a proper way with sharing our feelings. However when we put off telling the other person how we feel or what to do, stress and false emotion gather. We start to build a ‘grudge’ and talk to ourselves internally about how the other person may not care, listen, or is lazy. The longer we wait to speak out our feelings, the bigger the alligator gets. When deadlines and activities approach, eventually we have to speak up. However, we do it with an alligator on our heals causing absolutes and negatives to blurt out. “A good listener removes alligators and secures a setting where talkers can focus on clearing their swamps” (Petersen, 2007, p. 95). How many of you are ‘emotional bottlers’? This is one of my worst issues. I have to shoot the alligators (metaphorically) and start to converse within a safe situation in order to successfully relate my message as well as listen to others.

Petersen, J., (2007). Why Don't We Listen Better? Oregon: Petersen Publications.

17 Essential Qualities of A Team Player by John Maxwell: A Review

Every leader looks for that one book that hits a home run when referring to leadership qualities. John Maxwell’s book, The 17 Essential Qualities of a Team Player: Becoming the Kind Of Person Every Team Wants (2002), offers the reader a tight and colorful summation of his seventeen essential leadership qualities. Most leaders assume that they should be hard working, skilled, and well-versed in the subject matter; Maxwell takes these assumptions a step further and lists seventeen must-have characteristics that all leaders should encompass in order to do well in any sort of team.

Maxwell’s text is chocked full of great stories and personally gathered illustrations to help the reader better grasp each quality mentioned. Beginning with a quote, Maxwell then moves on to a story to help tie in the theme of the quality. In addition to the story, Maxwell also uses evaluations and reflections to help the reader assess the quality mentioned. Basically, Maxwell uses day-to-day stories and quotes to help the reader implement these qualities to help integrate them into daily life. I find this text simple, basic, and easy to understand and apply. The principles and qualities mentioned are essential and explained in a straightforward manner.
John Maxwell’s text involves a layout of seventeen essential qualities which all leaders should encompass. The first quality, adaptability, focuses on alerting the leader to change for the sake of the team. The second quality, becoming collaborative, allows the leader to realize that working together precedes winning together. The third quality, being committed, is one of the most important; in order to be successful, the leader must give a full-effort. The fourth quality, communication, expresses that the team is many voices with a single heart. The fifth quality, competency, I find to be one of the most intriguing. In order to be a ‘doing’ team, the leader must be competent at the tasks first. The sixth quality, being dependable, explains that the leader must be available to help the team when in need. Additionally, the seventh quality is being disciplined which helps the team to win. The eighth quality is enlarging the team’s values. Being enthusiastic is the ninth quality which comes from the heart of the leader and flows through to the team. Being intentional is the tenth quality which helps make every action count. Additionally, the team should be mission conscious, which is the eleventh quality; this quality helps the team have a clear purpose of future goals. The twelfth quality is being prepared; this quality can ultimately determine the outcome of success. Being relational helps connect the warmth of the team; this is the thirteenth quality. The fourteenth quality is self-improving which ultimately starts at the heart of the leader and flows through to the team. The fifteenth quality is being selfless; in order to lead a team, the leader must be conscious of other’s needs. Additionally, the sixteenth quality is being solution oriented; since conflicts are inevitable in teams, finding solutions should be a priority. Finally, the seventeenth quality listed by Maxwell is being tenacious; never give up in tough situations.

Concrete Response
After reviewing Maxwell’s text, I have recalled a past instance that applies to the concepts. When I was fifteen years old, I was on a local mission team for children and teenagers that would week bi-monthly for an entire weekend. Before bed, the staff would provide group devotionals with a theme for the weekend. Most of the time, the themes would focus on some sort of leadership quality. This particular instance focused on being relational and getting along with others. The staff spoke for a while, sang a few songs, and the session ended. We would split off from the group to individually do our devotionals and then retire to bed. Two girls in particular, always put on their best behavior, “Christian hat,” and every teenage girl envied them for the discipline in the Bible studies. Everyone was doing great, until the fight started.
Teenage girls may not always do fist fights, but they can fight with words pretty well. After all that time spent in the devotional in the group and individually focused on being caring, relational, being warm with each other and as a leader; these girls still had it in for each other. These girls were throwing toothbrushes, pillows, and whatever they could get their hands on. Not only were they throwing objects, they were throwing insults like tomorrow’s paper. After the staff separated the girls and the affected individuals, a debriefing occurred as well as proper discipline. In summary, the entire group learned that teammates can be deceiving and being relational sometimes takes a few years of wisdom and maturity to grow a decent teammate.

Reflection
Upon reflection of John Maxwell’s text, I have come up with several questions regarding his work. However, I have not come up with many. I was actually quite impressed with his organized text, layout of design, and line of fire of content. However, in order to outsmart the author and think one step ahead, I must think hard to find a few flaws. First, in Maxwell’s text he stated he offers free tests and personal team assessments online at (http://www.qualitiesofateamplayer.com). However, this link is unavailable due to how long ago this text was published (about eight years ago). I was however redirected to http://www.maximumimpact.com/OnlineTools/assessment.aspx for more information regarding self assessments; however they were not regarding this specific text. I think it is sort of strange that the website mentioned in his book is no longer up and running; Maxwell must have no been thinking ahead or have been committed to an online resource. So much for abstract thinkers!
Secondly, thinking reflectively, I was really glad that Maxwell did not go into an in-depth description of each quality. This would have made the text a monotonous dictionary of terms. Instead he made the text more of a self-application and assessment that helped the reader easily apply it to daily life. I do wish, however, that Maxwell expounded on more questions: better team assessment tools, how to use this quality at home, is this quality something you struggle with etc. I think the text did offer a great Reflecting on It section that helped the reader ask specific questions; however, Maxwell did not expound on specific answers.

Action
Upon reading Maxwell’s text, I feel I have been enlightened with many relevant characteristics that all leaders should encompass. Each quality mentioned is a quality that should be grown and matured over time. I feel that I have a responsibility as a Christian to follow through with paying attention to these qualities mentioned and making sure I use these qualities for the betterment of my relationship with God and others. My mother is a leader in the local Christian counseling field and asked me specifically about being disciplined. We both have a hard time being too disciplined and not spending enough time resting. After reviewing Maxwell’s seventh quality on discipline, we both discussed how taking several days of rest per every few weeks can do wonders on our work performance. “Discipline is doing what you really don’t want to do so that you can do what you really want to do” (Maxwell, 2002, p. 57). She and I worked out a plan of action so that we can specially have some time to recharge so that our ‘type A’ personalities will not take over and drain our mental batteries.
Personally, the information gained from reading this text has really helped me see a better well-rounded picture of what is needed in any sort of leadership position. Not only am I going to use this information with my future career and job hunt, but I really find this information pertinent in my relationship with Christ. I really found some areas that I need to work on (becoming more relational and committed). Overall, great book!

References
Maxwell, J. (2002). The 17 Essential Qualities of a Team Player: Becoming the Kind of Person Every Team Wants. Nashville: Thomas Nelson Publishers.

**This review is NOT permitted to be copied, printed, or reproduced.

Life Coaching: Top 5 Questions

1. What is life coaching?
*A life coach is someone you hire to help assist you with your personal development, especially in the area of setting and achieving specific goals. Your life coach may share advice, offer guidance, help you make plans, and hold you accountable for taking action. Just like you would hire a trainer for implementing fitness goals, you would hire a life coach to inspire and support you to implement personal life goals. Many people also need motivation with productivity and organization during their coaching process, which is what the coach is for! Every life coaching situation is unique, therefore each individual sets specific milestones and goals to implement during and after the coaching process.

*Amid all your responsibilities, activities and projects, it's sometimes hard to see the big picture and easy to become overwhelmed or feel like you're lacking direction. That's where a life coach can come in. If you are frustrated with an aspect of your life, not sure how to stop making the same choices you keep making or just want to have more happiness, peace of mind and passion -- life coaching can do that for you. Life coaches can specialize in areas like relationships, careers or personal growth. They promise to motivate, offer support when clients need a boost in confidence and help them decide which direction to take (Pawlowski, 2007).

2. How does life coaching differ from counseling or therapy?
*Coaching focuses on goal setting with future emphasis. Coaching meets the client where they are with support during their time of struggle with poignant questions and motivational encouragement. Coaching is about positive acute change.

*Therapy focuses on issues of pathology, healing and unresolved psychological issues of the past. Coaching on the other hand, begins with the present and assists clients in setting very clear, and specific goals that they want to achieve in the future. While the past may be discussed on occasion, it is addressed only in the context of discovering what is blocking the client from moving forward. The focus is always on movement and taking action, not on insight or understanding (Austin & Brain, 2008).

3. How does life coaching work?
*What happens between you and your life coach? Your life coach will be your EQUAL PARTNER. If you do not feel that your life coach is your equal partner, then the life coaching process will almost assuredly not succeed. Your life coach will focus totally on you. You will become the absolute center of their attention. Life coaching is all about you accomplishing your coachable goals on your terms, on your pace, on your agenda (Dueease, 2007).

*Your life coach will ask you personal questions about you for the purpose of having you reveal what is inside you that you cannot see. You will open up to your coach to divulge what make you tick, to unravel the mystery of you. Once you reveal your inner thoughts, feelings and motivations that you had previously not known about or fully understood, your coach will reflect them back to you. Your life coach will become your mirror to describe to you what you divulged to your coach (Dueease, 2007).

4. Does your life need a coach?
*At home: Coaching provides personalized strategies and shortcuts to organize your day and keep you on track. Or you might finally get your closets organized — and keep them that way. A coach doesn’t just solve time-management or organizational problems for you, he or she helps you identify them and teaches you how to develop solutions to prevent them from recurring.

*At Work: A coach can help you navigate the tricky waters of office politics. Even a procrastination problem can be solved with a little support. A coach can teach you to break down a big project into several smaller ones that are less overwhelming and easier to complete. If you need help with long-term goals, coaching can help you objectively review your future employment, promotion or salary goals.

*Personal life: It is different from talking to a friend or family member. Friends mean well and can certainly lend a supportive ear, but completing homework assigned by a life coach can break down mental barriers such as ‘I can’t draw’, ‘I can’t run a mile’ or ‘I don’t know how to sew.’ A coach understands that the idea of running a mile can feel daunting for someone who’s never jogged down the street. She works with you to find creative ways to break down the ‘can’ts’ into a series of small triumphs and ‘cans.’ (Unilever, 2008).

*Often, people need someone to help them take the dreams they have in their heads -- the visions of what they want to do next with their lives -- and do the work to make them a reality. Remember that you get out of the coaching experience what you put into it, so hire a coach when you're ready to make changes, and devote your attention to doing the work. A coach can be a powerful asset, but they will work in a partnership with you, and you determine where you want that partnership to go (Pawlowski, 2007).

5. What do we discuss in a coaching session?
*You will discover: Your passions (the ones you know about, those you suspect but are not sure of and those that have been hidden within you that want to come out) ; Your self-imposed obstacles (what you do not want to do, the opposite of passions) ; Your beliefs and values, some people call this spirituality as opposed to religion, (your boundaries and integrity points) ; Your talents (the ones you know about, those you suspect but are not sure of and those that have been hidden within you that want to come out) ; Your priorities what is most important to you, what is second, third, etc (Dueease, 2007).

*This process of discovery will take several months to accomplish because there is a lot there to unravel. The end result is that you will become the World’s Leading Expert on You! The biggest mystery in the world is not global warming, but is the mystery of ourselves. The reason the life coaching process has become so popular, so valuable, and has grown so much in only sixteen years is because life coaching assists people to discover themselves in such a short time, with so much more accuracy, and in such a supportive and confidential (secret) environment (Dueease, 2007).

References:
Austin & Brain. (2008). Coaching and Counseling: What is the Connection? Found online 7/27/09 at http://www.julietaustin.com/article-coaching-counseling.html
Dueease, B. (2007). How Does Life Coaching Work? The Coach Connection Blog. Found online 7/27/09 at http://findyourcoach.blogharbor.com/blog/_archives/2007/8/27/3186956.html
Pawlowski, A. (2007). Getting Unstuck: Does Your Life Need a Life Coach? CNN.com. Found online 7/27/009 at http://www.cnn.com/2007/LIVING/worklife/08/01/wlb.life.coaches/
Unilever Group. (2008). Do You Need a Life Coach? Found online 7/27/09 at http://www.executivehealthwealth.com/makinglifebetter.pdf

When it Rains, It Pours!

In Raleigh, NC this week we had quite a monsoon! Aside from lightning and high winds, it was the rain that amazed me: the constant sheer force of a downpour for several days. Sheets of rain, torrents of liquefying repetitions...you get the idea.

Most of us Type A Personalities (driven, hard working, competent) tend to get burnt out quickly and do nothing about it. Most of the time, we work too hard, love too hard, or simply 'be' at higher levels than is expected of us. Our adrenal depletion and cortisol levels start to mimic those strange salmon who swim upstream in mating season. We just keep going, even though we know we're tired.

I embrace my Type A Personality. However, embracing this God-given personality means to take care of the weaknesses too. In those times in my life when it 'pours', re-evaluation is needed, deeper rest, time away from work or stress related triggers, the list goes on. God gives us responsibilities not to weaken us, but to embrace and grow our area of comfort.

Sometimes, when it rains, it pours. Work never trickles in, it pours in torrents all at once. I recently learned that dreams of water or rain can refer to a time of cleansing or sharpening. So true! Those times in our life where everything happens at once can all seem like a blur; in the moment they last forever!

Tips:

• Extend: Find those encouraging support networks (your best friend, your church, your mom/dad), and simply extend your need of prayer.
• Journal! This has been a big help in my life. Journal your dreams, your daily activities, your stressors, anything to help 'unload' your brain. Find a journal that inspires you!
• Relax. Exercise, walk, take many naps, play with the dog, pray, have some 'you' time. This releases endorphins in the brain that help reduce stress.
• Delegate and Organize! If your work load is too overwhelming and you simply can't get out of your whirlwind, try to first organize your thoughts and tasks. Also organizing your surroundings has a HUGE effect on negative stressers. Delegating your responsibility (if possible) to help get the work load off is also a great idea, but not an excuse for avoidance.

Penguine Sex (and Faith)

Last night I was reading Blue Like Jazz: Nonreligious Thoughts on Christian Spirituality (2003) by Donald Miller. Chapter 5 opens with the heading "Penguin Sex (and Faith)." Startled and curious at the same time, I found out that Donald Miller (no relation by the way) was relating our internal voice of faith to penguins during their mating rituals.
Let me explain, although D. Miller does a much better job: penguins swim in large packs until they hit a chunk of ice. They then hop on the ice, and crawl on their belly (which carves little tunnels), until they feel the need to stop. The group of penguins (around 500+) begin something like a disco dance, finding their mate in such a large dance room. The ritual commences, the female lays the egg and hands it off to the male with her flippers. This is the interesting part: the male sits on the egg until it hatches.

Where did momma go, you ask? She's off hunting, grocery shopping, getting her nails done; you know, all the typical female busyness. She could be a hundred miles away. The males are left in the huge huddle collecting warmth with the center penguins circulating outward to keep the heat equal. As almost by maternal instinct, the female returns a month later to sift through the dance floor, find her man, and watch the babies crack the shell.

What's the point of all of this penguin talk? Have you ever felt like you had an internal radar that told you where to go, what to do, and that it all somehow made sense? Like the momma penguin showing up at the exact moment to find her babies being born, faith tends to act like an invisible radar. D. Miller explains, "I have a radar inside me that says to believe in Jesus. Somehow, penguin radar leads them perfectly well. Maybe it isn't so foolish that I follow the radar that is inside of me"(p. 57).

We all have that internal compass; that inner voice that nudges you saying "This sounds fishy," or "This is the better path." Most of us ignore our inner voice, what Christian's call the Holy Spirit, causing us to miss the highlights in our life and stray off course. Sometimes that voice comes in a whisper, you just have to be listening.

• Miller, Donald. (2003). Blue Like Jazz: Nonreligious Thoughts on Christian Spirituality. (p. 57).Thomas Nelson, Inc.

• http://www.donaldmillerwords.com/bluelikejazz.php