Darting Arrows

This morning on my way to the office, the famous Cook Mrs. Paula Dean herself was interviewed on HIS Radio WRTP. She simply tickles me! Her optimism and joy for family and comfort thrill me. Although, I'm sure eating all those yummy foods would get me at some point, if you know what I mean. She was talking about how many shows she's been on recently, her new restaurant, and the joys of her family. She chuckled and said,

"You know how you can't hit a moving target? Well I just don't stop movin'!"

How true is this for most of us? We are afraid it will all catch up with us if we slow down. It ends up being a viscious cycle if you think about it: you stress if you slow down, you stress when you speed up; then eventually you simply crash.

If you are darting from the arrows of stress, where do you go?

Who do you turn to?

What are your patterns?

Some of us eat, some of us yell, some of us sleep. Either way, this whole dance of darting the arrows causes a lot of stress for you and for the people around you.

What do you think would happen if you slowed down?

What is the worst thing that could happen?

What is the best thing that could happen?

What is another viewpoint on slowing down?

Keep on diggin'! Keep on asking and answering. This way you will get a clearer picture as to the core issue.

Get that armor off, quit running in the wrong direction. Slow down!

Overpacked

I recently traveled for my birthday on my first 'mid-west' trip to Michigan to visit friends. I had heard horror stories about the weather out there this time of year: snow, winds, and sub-zero temps. What the heck is a girl from North Carolina suppose to pack on a trip like this??

I hate second guessing baggage claim at the airports if I have a connecting flight. Will my bag actually make it on my plane or will it get lost in the mayhem? With this thought, I decided to concentrate on my first 'carry-on only' flight. Since my trip was only for 4 days, I thought I could manage with a backpack and a purse.

But then, I thought about the weather. I figured a parka was a must, plus a medium jacket, and a light weight one. In addition to jackets, there are those winter necessities: gloves, hats, scarves, boots, socks. Don't forget clothes and toiletries!! After a miracle moment, my backpack actually closed with all the above items. I even brought my fancy camera and a gift for my friend. Amazing! I felt prepared, ready, and above all- warm!

Stepping out of the Detroit airport, I was greeted with a couple feet of dirty snow, winds blasting my face off, and shocking temps. I was ready. For one night anyways, I was cozy warm. The first night was icy, snowy, and I felt my breath was freezing in my lungs. But the next morning, and every morning following, I woke up to decent temps: 40's and sunshine. Really?! I began to feel over-prepared and a little silly for all the packing worries.

My backpack was heavy, full to the bursting point, and above all: unnecessary.

How many times to we fill our own thought life with unnecessary worries and stresses? Maybe you're just trying to feel prepared for the journey ahead; maybe you're worried that you'll be caught off guard and put in a vulnerable position. What if this armor we put up is actually holding us down? Your emotions will be affected by these superfluous worries: increased anxiety, irritability, sleep problems, etc.

I could say something cheesy like, "Throw your backpack down" or "Only pack the necessities" or something along those lines. But the reality is that most of us have no idea what our bare necessities are when it comes to our thought life. Our minds simply run rampant. So instead of a list of ideas to minimize stress in your head, what about simply asking, "What is the root of this thought?"

If the roots of your thoughts tend to be grounded in anxiety, performance stress, self-esteem, or fear- would you want to hold on to all of that? Not me! It's alright to be prepared for 'winter weather,' but only to a certain extent. Here are a few questions to ask yourself:

1. Is this thought healthy?

2. What is this thought trying to accomplish? What is the end result?

3. How will this thought or worry affect me the rest of today?

4. Am I going to put up with myself thinking this thought?

Don't be surprised if you start making some changes!

Facts About Adrenaline

Years ago I was diagnosed with complete adrenal failure. Apparently, due to my driven nature, I literally ran my adrenal glands dry. The little glands, located above your kidneys are about the size of grapes. They produce cortisol and help control energy levels in the body. After blood work and saliva tests, we figured out that mine were dry! They had stopped producing these chemicals. So this is why I was feeling tired so often! This is why I was so busy-natured and "energizer bunny" nonstop action. So I was doing some research about addictions, and up popped Adrenaline Addiction. I had no idea what it was- but just wanted to share!

Did you know that Adrenaline can be an addiction? It manifests in excessive television, internet usage, shopping, arguing etc. The adrenal glands were designed for emergencies only!! None of this long-term usage that we get caught up in.

Adrenal glands produce cortisol: adrenaline affects the heart; cortisol affects the brain. Stress is the root of all adrenaline addiction. There are emotional consequences to adrenaline addiction and people often experience physical consequences. The underlying cause for adrenaline addiction are:

• The need to numb painful feelings
• Crisis of meaninglessness
• Crisis of purposelessness

The symptoms of adrenaline addiction include obsessing over things left undone, feelings of guilt when idle, strong compulsion to be doing something all the time. People should face emotions directly because this can confront the underlying issues inside of adrenaline addiction.

Recovery:

People recovering from adrenaline addiction will often have important changes to make. According to Dr. Hart, worship and relaxation should offer peacefulness. Try to:

• Manage adrenaline
• Pay attention to physical symptoms of stress: sleep issues, depression, fatigue, restlessness

Some important changes to make when dealing with adrenaline addiction:

• Lifestyle changes
• Personality changes
• Enhance peacefulness
• Incorporate healthy physical changes
• Disengagement strategies
• Anger Control

Practical Suggestions include:

• Face emotions directly
• Learn to live within limits
• Create healthy boundaries
• Allow yourself to slow down: It's ok to rest!

Resources: Addiction and Recovery. Dr. Archibald Hart. Light University.

Flat Brained Alligators

Flat Brain Syndrome
Peterson hit in me in the head when I read his book about listening better. In Chapter 4 he mentioned 'flat brain syndrome.’ This is where your system goes nuts with trying to interpret mixed emotions during times of stress. He states that our stomachs overload on past pain and send ‘stomach pangs’ as messages to our hearts. What really hit me was his section on our hearts turning into bricks. “ Any ability we had to use heart talk, to share and be open with each other morphs into put-downs, absolute statements, and resistance” (Petersen, 2007, p. 25). I usually have a lot on my mind and am not the type of person to openly share too much. When something is really bothering me, I tend to clam up and become a little cold towards others. I’ve done and said some irritating things when my heart turns into a brick, but it is usually because of the internal dialogue that is happening. What should I do about this? I should open up to the right people in order to not ‘stuff emotions’ which results in a ‘brick heart.’ Internal emotions are better out than a spontaneous blow out. Recognize your signs of stuffing.

Alligators
Peterson talked about how the ‘alligators’ nip at our heals when we’re in a stressful situation. In normal times, we could converse in a proper way with sharing our feelings. However when we put off telling the other person how we feel or what to do, stress and false emotion gather. We start to build a ‘grudge’ and talk to ourselves internally about how the other person may not care, listen, or is lazy. The longer we wait to speak out our feelings, the bigger the alligator gets. When deadlines and activities approach, eventually we have to speak up. However, we do it with an alligator on our heals causing absolutes and negatives to blurt out. “A good listener removes alligators and secures a setting where talkers can focus on clearing their swamps” (Petersen, 2007, p. 95). How many of you are ‘emotional bottlers’? This is one of my worst issues. I have to shoot the alligators (metaphorically) and start to converse within a safe situation in order to successfully relate my message as well as listen to others.

Petersen, J., (2007). Why Don't We Listen Better? Oregon: Petersen Publications.