September 11

The time around September 11th is tender to our country. It's a time to remember, pause, and look ahead. I feel great sadness for all the lives that were lost on this day. The death toll of the attacks was 2,995, including the 19 hijackers. The overwhelming majority of casualties were civilians, including nationals of over 70 countries. I feel intense anger towards the action of those who planned it. Ultimately, I feel an urge to share Jesus with such people. I feel a deeper sadness longing for the souls that were lost on this day.

I feel vulnerable, uncertain, paranoid, and unsafe around this time of year: fear of another attack. Oddly enough, I always travel during this time. I see the protection our country is exhibiting, the effect this attack has tolled- a constant reminder of my safety. On the same note, I know our country has come a long way since that morning in 2001. Within my soul, I know that God's hand was protecting our country from even worse destruction on that day. Sometimes it's hard to see a kind and gracious God in attacks as horrible as this. Why does God let bad things happen to His people?

I know God is involved in everything. His love is deeper than anything imaginable. His plans are wider and higher than anyone's. I must believe that God's hand was on the pulse of the nation to bring comfort in our sadness and bring us closer. This is our God: A God of purpose, comfort, direction, compassion, and guidance. He is the One we have waited for.

God cannot be put in a box of labels. I cannot with a right mind say, "Oh- God planned this" or "God let this happen." God does big things, bigger than any of us can foresee. His ways are unknowable. I am passionate about leaning closer to Him every day. My feelings of anger, vulnerability, and uncertainty are in my sinful nature: I know that people in theirs can do bad things. My trust lies in Jesus Christ. Above anyone else in this world, He is the one that I rely on for my comfort and counsel.

In our human nature, we are capable of horrible things. We create rubble, destruction, death. This is expected of such a fallen world. We all feel the toll of other's sinful natures. We all fall ourselves. Jesus died to save us from this destruction. His nature is redemptive. No matter the sins of the nation, He forgives his children.

Looking ahead, I must accept His whisper saying, "My child, I love you. My child, I protect you. My child, I died for you."